What happen to "values" in this world. Respect, Honesty, Morals...what happen to these?

What is this world coming to?   

 

You wonder with every story on CNN or FOX or any other channel "what happening to our children?"  Teen pregnancies, children hitting teachers, rising numbers of meth users, and so on and so on.....  Could it be the PARENTS are to blame?  You know the same ones who cheat on each other, lie to each other, and abuse the same drugs we are trying to keep our children off.  

 

I was taught that we teach by example to our children.  The problem is that parents these days can't do this because they themselves are breaking every rule, commandment, or law made.  Now what? 

 

The basis of family values is RESPECT.  What happen to this fundamental concept of teaching your children to respect not only themselves but others.  Let's repeat that important concept, The fundament concept  of teaching family values is teaching your children RESPECT.  Children should learn this from birth.  Boundaries, love, trust, and honesty are core concepts that all children need and desire. 

 

Sometimes life does throw you some curve balls.  We know that.  I myself have had many a curve balls thrown at me.  Am I perfect....of course not.  I will never say that I am.  My marriage of 21 years failed, and was failing for many years.  This was not for lack of trying, but was for lack of seeing.  Seeing the many signals, cues, and large signs that would have had most running for the door.  Again, they say "hindsight is 20/20."  I really think that I remained because of what I was taught from my own parents.  "Marriage is not easy and takes a lot of work" resonated from my parents (whom have had their ups and downs over the last 50 years, yet still together).  But what you find is that one person working on a marriage and the other only complaining, does not make a marriage work.  So what you have left is a broken marriage and one doing and seeking more and more ways to get out, breaking every rule and commandment known to man.  In my case, it was my ex who owns a hat that summarizes it all.  It read "Sneaky Pete".  How apropos!  Now there is more to that story which I will share later, however, more importantly what does the actions of one parent or both parents tell our children?  That is the question.  They say children are resiliant, however, has anybody ever tested that theory?  I really don't think so.

 

As parents it is our responsiblity to demonstrate or if that is not always possible, offer support to our children so that they can move forward in this world knowing right from wrong, truth, and, most important, how to respect themselves and those around them.  Wow, just three things, three very simple concepts that would change the world.  Amazing isn't it?   

 

How, you ask?  There are millions of theories.  Some of those theories are out-of-this world.  The first step, most of you already know, is quite simple.  Realize.....REALIZE... that the moment you become a parent that THEY COME FIRST.  Sounds easy, however, the major problem of most failed marriages or failed parenting efforts is that they forget this first step.  Some parents reading this are thinking "no kidding".  However, you will be amazed at the many that scoff at that statement, stating some excuse, conclusion, or theory that the most important person should be themselves or their spouse.  I am not saying ignor yourself or your spouse, I am saying YOUR CHILDREN COME FIRST.  I am talking about giving of YOUR TIME, YOUR LOVE, and THE SETTING OF BOUNDARIES.  These are concepts that a school cannot give nor should they be expected to do so. 

 

In my 21 year marriage I could not comprehend how this did not come naturally to my ex-spouse.  It takes a lot of "inner strength" to place yourself last.  To me and most of you it is a natural normal mind frame, placing the needs of those you love and treasure first. Unfortunately, the problems this society faces is that most parents out there "don't get it".  Sad, but true.  The ironic thing is that they are the first to complain about the world, other people's children, or even their own children.  Again, it is very sad situation, but overwhelmingly true. 

 

Now, if you are able to understand that your children come first, your children will also see this.  Respect, RESPECT, comes from them seeing this, knowing they are loved, seeing the time you spend with them, understanding (sometimes not liking) the boundaries that you have set.  Simple.... not really, but anything worthwhile takes time.  Practice does make perfect and if one, strike that, if all parents can or attempt to place their children's needs first, maybe, just maybe we would see so much in this world change.  I can say without a doubt your children will.